Loss and grief

December 15, 2017 we received a call from Mexico. The unexpected news that my father in law had passed away.

My husband was at work and called me to let me know. My husband is a very hardworking man. He could have the worse symptoms of a cold and never miss a day of labor. This news to him was no different.

He continued his day like any other.

I in the other hand was an anxious ball ready to burst. Worried about how my husband would cope with the loss of his father? How would I be able to comfort him in the loss of his best friend.

My husband was fortunate to grow up with his father and mother back in Mexico. I in the other hand, grew up with my mother in which she is my father and mother to me. And means the world to me.

On the left is my husbands mother Julia and the little kid is my daughter. In the center is Jorge my husband and on the far right is my husbands father his name was Marcelino. This was a photo from my first visit to Puerto Escondido, Mexico.

But my husband still has his mom who is also sadly struggling with the loss of her husband and companion of a long time.

How does one cope with the loss of a loved one that you love so much? How do you tell your husband that you feel his pain and that you are there to support him?

Honestly you can. But only that person understands their pain. I see my husband and can see a change from humor or just him not wanting to do anything. The other day he said “I lost part of my heart”

It saddens me because I have never lost a loved one close to me. Or because I see death in a different way. I understand that we live to die. Because we don’t belong to earth. Our home is in heaven with god. He is ultimately the one that decides our eternal home. The only thing we have is memories that can be treasured.

My husband was unable to go see his father for the last time. The town where his parents live lack resources and burry the dead the following day. There is no autopsy performed. They just prepare him for his burial by viewing his body and praying the whole night and the next day is taken to the cemetery to bury. He passed away on a Friday.

We searched for airlines that would fly him out the same night but no one did and the only arrival day was on Sunday. It would be to late. He sent his mom monetary help and plans to go later on this month to spend time with his mother and sisters.

When a loved one is not physically here it must be so painful to not be able to hear them or talk to them. But one fact is for sure grief is the hardest and most painful circumstance that we encounter as a human being.

Our love ones need our understanding and compassion. Let’s hug our loved ones tighter everyday and tell them how much they mean to you.

I want to thank my father in law for a great hospitality when I met him for the first time. He was around 80yrs old here and was a lean machine moving and working. Now I know where my husband gets it from. I hope he is resting peacefully.

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