Low carb, One meal at a time.

So, back in December I had a doctors appointment . Due to my thyroid not functioning and taking hormone replacement. I spoke to her about all my aches and anxiety and depression. Also how my weight has sky rocketed and not being able to lose any pounds. Like my weight has just froze and my metabolism is absolutely dead.

To make all matters worse she began telling me that I was (obese) no shit! That my fat was hurting me and that all my problems were due to my fatness.

Of course I knew this. My whole life I have been over weight. But never minded the pounds or that I was fat shamed and bullied. I always had a high self-esteem.

I never thought that as an adult I would suffer the consequences of bad eating habits and bad food choices. And the food I was introduced my whole life from my mother.

It seems that once you hit your late twenties you hit a plateau and everything starts to ache and you can’t lose weight.

Well I figured that I should stop eating carbohydrates because they are not good for me. I’ve tried many diets and recently I have looked into the #Ketogenic diet. Which is pretty much no carbohydrates. You eat fat to lose fat.

Yeah, sounds controversial! I’m barely getting the hang of it by doing lots of research.

This here is what I eat in a day for breakfast or lunch. Eggs with mozzarella cheese, ham, avocado which is a staple in Keto because it is high in healthy fats. And just a home made salsa.

  • Basically a #Ketogenic diet is a type of very low carbohydrate diet designed to force your body to burn fat instead of glucose for energy. This process produces ketones.
  • Carbohydrate is your Body’s main fuel. It breaks it down into glucose.
  • Without the consumption of carbohydrates your body turns to using protein for fuel.
  • Your body will then get into Ketosis which means that your body is in a state where it doesn’t have glucose available to use energy, so it switches into a state where molecules called Ketones which are made during fat metabolism.
  • Ketones can be used for energy, they can be used instead of glucose for most energy needed.

Many people who are on the Ketogenic diet measure if they are in ketosis with urine test strips to see if they are producing ketones.

I personally am not doing that. What I do is try not to consume more than 20 grams of carbs. And have no sugar at all. As of December till now I have lost 10lbs YAY! For me.

I’ll see how my diet goes. I don’t plan to call it a diet. I want to adapt this as a long-term lifestyle.

Have a great day!

Beef fajitas with pepper and onions. On a bed of steamed broccoli. Topped with cheddar cheese and sour cream.

I am not a professional doctor or recommend to anyone. Please consult a medical professional before doing any changes to your dietary restrictions. This is only a personal thing.

Loss and grief

December 15, 2017 we received a call from Mexico. The unexpected news that my father in law had passed away.

My husband was at work and called me to let me know. My husband is a very hardworking man. He could have the worse symptoms of a cold and never miss a day of labor. This news to him was no different.

He continued his day like any other.

I in the other hand was an anxious ball ready to burst. Worried about how my husband would cope with the loss of his father? How would I be able to comfort him in the loss of his best friend.

My husband was fortunate to grow up with his father and mother back in Mexico. I in the other hand, grew up with my mother in which she is my father and mother to me. And means the world to me.

On the left is my husbands mother Julia and the little kid is my daughter. In the center is Jorge my husband and on the far right is my husbands father his name was Marcelino. This was a photo from my first visit to Puerto Escondido, Mexico.

But my husband still has his mom who is also sadly struggling with the loss of her husband and companion of a long time.

How does one cope with the loss of a loved one that you love so much? How do you tell your husband that you feel his pain and that you are there to support him?

Honestly you can. But only that person understands their pain. I see my husband and can see a change from humor or just him not wanting to do anything. The other day he said “I lost part of my heart”

It saddens me because I have never lost a loved one close to me. Or because I see death in a different way. I understand that we live to die. Because we don’t belong to earth. Our home is in heaven with god. He is ultimately the one that decides our eternal home. The only thing we have is memories that can be treasured.

My husband was unable to go see his father for the last time. The town where his parents live lack resources and burry the dead the following day. There is no autopsy performed. They just prepare him for his burial by viewing his body and praying the whole night and the next day is taken to the cemetery to bury. He passed away on a Friday.

We searched for airlines that would fly him out the same night but no one did and the only arrival day was on Sunday. It would be to late. He sent his mom monetary help and plans to go later on this month to spend time with his mother and sisters.

When a loved one is not physically here it must be so painful to not be able to hear them or talk to them. But one fact is for sure grief is the hardest and most painful circumstance that we encounter as a human being.

Our love ones need our understanding and compassion. Let’s hug our loved ones tighter everyday and tell them how much they mean to you.

I want to thank my father in law for a great hospitality when I met him for the first time. He was around 80yrs old here and was a lean machine moving and working. Now I know where my husband gets it from. I hope he is resting peacefully.

Goodbye, November

As, we close another month and welcome the last month of the year. I want to share what I am thankful for.

Health

I am thankful for being healthy and alive. Aside from my thyroid acting up. I still haven’t seen a specialist. But I will in December. Glad to be able to care for my family.

Family

The most important in my life is my family. My beautiful children. Can’t live with them and can’t live without them. Lol…. I love my kids so much. My mother and my hardworking husband.

Food

I mean it’s part of survival. Blessed that my family and I have a meal every day.

Roof over our Head

Thankful for a place to live.

God

Thankful, that I have found the power of Christ in scripture. After procrastinating for so long to open a bible. I now spend a part of my day with the word of Jesus. Slowly, but surely. I am, learning to understand the power of the Bible.

Blog

I am so thankful that I started this blog. It took so long for me to start it. I’ve been procrastinating. (Way too long) that’s something I really need to work on! Having this blog. Helps me connect with you and be able to relate on many of life’s lessons and issues.

I, am thankful for you too. For taking your time to read my words.

What are you guys thankful for?

Do we have any similarities?

Happy late thanksgiving!

Let the holidays role in…

PEACE AND LOVE

VICKI

Hypothyroidism

 

It’s been months where, I have been feeling so tired and lethargic with no energy. Even if I have my 8hrs of sleep or more, I still wake up tired. Eager to just sleep and lay down. Yawning through out the whole day.

There was no way to be able to function like that. Specially with my lifestyle. I have to keep up with my three humans. When I would get stuck in traffic in the freeway I will yawn all the way home. One day I was so sleepy that my eyes would literally close. SCARY!

Two weeks ago, I went to my OBGYN. I was concerned about my right breast. I had some discharge and got so worried. I know for a fact that my youngest son just being two years old. I could possibly still have milk. I did not breastfeed any of my children. Bummer! I would had love to I tried with all three and nope. None of them latched and I wouldn’t produce any liquid gold.

She sent me out for a mammogram. The following day, I  go for the mammogram. I’m not nervous or scared. Just freaking out. your breast get flat ironed by the machine literally. They give you your results there. I was suggested to have an ultrasound after. I was a mess afterwards.

At that moment all that ran through my mind was my kids. How were they going to live without me? How was I supposed to tell them that I was going to die?

The nurse called me in again for the ultrasound. I was silently crying. She was quiet too. All I heard was the clicking from the keyboard. And just the monitor being caressed all over the breast. She finally finished and said, “ I’ll be back, I’m going to the radiologist for the results.”

The wait was eternal. I was just laying down and my mind spinning. She came in and sat down. “ you don’t have any visible bumps.” We don’t see anything! “We see some little pockets of fluid but breast always tend to have glands with some fluid in them.”

I went home and was so thankful to god. I was relieved from the fear of being diagnosed with cancer. Ladies it is so important to check your breast. No matter your age. Always self exam. Check for lumps or bums. Discharge, dimpled breast  , inverted nipple, unusual pain. Anything that you have not seen or felt. Please get it checked out.

I also had blood work done at my OBGYN appointment. Apparently to check my hormones.

Three days later. the nurse calls me and lets me know that my thyroid levels were high. And that my doctor prescribed 50mg of Sinthroid. Which treats Hypothyroidism.

Hypothyroidism is a condition where the thyroid does not produce enough thyroid hormone.  And has all the following symptoms.

Major symptoms include fatigue, cold sensitivity, constipation, dry skin, and unexplained weight gain. Anxiety, depression, brain fog, memory loss.

All these years of suffering from mental illness was finally connecting to my physical pain. I’ve been through so much. Being diagnosed with hypothyroidism was like a big light in my health care. I always knew that my body was out of wack.

I was very upset. All the doctors I went through. The frustration of trying to make them understand of what I was feeling joint pain, arthritis moos swing. and all the blood work I had done. And nobody believed me. My suffering isn’t only mentally but physical too.

All the physicians Could it understand my pain. I assumed they thought I was crazy. and all but the “ you have depression!” Diagnosis!

A weight was lifted from my back.

I started the medication. Still I don’t notice any changes. The pharmacist said it could take up to three to four months to notice any improvement.

I wonder how many people are being misdiagnosed? Does anyone here have the same similar problem? Share your story with me. Always be persistent. Nobody knows our body than ourselves.

I am also doing dietary changes. Hopefully the sinthroid will help me improve my energy and I can start moving around more.

I’ve stopped consuming animal protein. For the last three weeks. For health reasons to improve my overall health. I’ll talk about that later. But so far so good.

If you have any vegan recipes I would love to hear them?

Peace and love to all of you🖤

lately, I’ve been saddened by the current tragedies around the world. I pray for everyone of us. Hug your loved ones tight. Forgive and hold no resentment. We don’t know when we can be gone.

 

Xoxo,

Vicki Moreno

 

“Life Lately”

I’ve been mia for a minute. I’m telling you back to school routine was no joke. Getting the kids back to a sleep routine was like a pack of wolves hauling all night.

Exhausting!!! Not only that. but not even a week into school. kids got a cold, runny nose, fever. And to top it off. I catched the coodies too. And little guy too. 

Los Angeles, California 

Here in Los Angeles it’s been excruciating hot. Over the 90 degrees and being sick. Not a good combo. 

Can’t even sleep at night the kids are coughing up. It’s hot. The little one is napping during the day and wakes up at 1:00 am and goes back to sleep at 5:00 am.

Life couldn’t be better. How was back to school for you and your family?

Have you ever been sick during summer?

Summer is almost over. What are your plans to end summer? 

Stay hydrated if it’s hot in your part of the world.

Xoxo 

Vicki 

10 Things I am grateful for


Sometimes we overlook at our life, and complain about the most irrelevant things. But it’s really the smallest things that go unnoticed. That we should be grateful for.

We are caught up with the stress of our every day life. Weather from our jobs, relationships, debt, social media, lifestyle, traffic, worrying of others life’s. The thing is we just completely forget that we have a great life.

But have you ever sat down and thought of the beauty of nature, family, being healthy, have a source of income?

I thank god everyday. 

I know that I have days where I complain even about the sun being so hot, that my kids are annoying. That I’m too fat. 

I’m really just being inconsiderate. not thinking that, I should be grateful for being able to see and feel. And be able to breathe.

Here I will share 10 things that I am grateful for.

Share 10 things you are grateful for. In the comments.

  1. I am grateful to be able to wake up every morning.
  2. I am grateful to be able to see daylight and nature.
  3. I am grateful for my children. That they are healthy. And family.
  4. I am grateful to have a roof over my head.
  5. I am grateful that we have the food and water. To nourish our body.
  6. I am grateful for the jobs of my husband and his sacrifice he does for us.
  7. I am grateful for coffee because this momma needs 10,000 energy boost every day.
  8. I am grateful for my hands and feet. My tools to do everything I do.
  9. I am grateful for life’s challenges because it makes me grow and become who I am.
  10. I am grateful for being you. Because you are touching the world with your presence.

Xoxo, Vicki

Fried Cheese Tacos (Tacos dorados de queso)

Tacos de queso dorados.

Fried cheese tacos
Do you ever go late to the grocery store and grab items you don’t need? 

Ha! Happens to me all the time. Tonight, I headed out to a local supermarket called Northgatemarket. It’s your typical Hispanic supermarket. Offering hot fresh meals and cooked meats. Fresh baked French rolls and even house made corn tortillas. 

As I came around the tortilla section. The piles of  fresh corn tortilla packages with, even a few steam patches on the plastic bag, from being packed right away. from the tortilla machine.

They come out from a conveyor belt,  and two employees grab the corn tortillas, one by one and stack around 20 tortillas in a bag. 

I suddenly thought when I go home I’m going to make fried cheese tacos.

This recipe is inexpensive and can feed an army. It’s also full filling. Many of the ingredients, I usually have as staples in my refrigerator. I hope you try this recipe and let me know what you think.

I usually calculate 3 tortillas per person. So recipe will be 5 since my family is a party of 5.

  • Corn tortillas- 10
  • Cheese- mozzarella, Monterrey Jack, Havarti or any cheese on hand.
  • 1/2 cup of oil for frying vegetable oil, I used olive oil. 
  • Sour-creme or table cream  
  • Any greens 
  • Hot sauce or salsa

Place a pan on medium heat at the oil. Once the oil start to bubble. Add the tacos to fry. Cut cheese into wedges. Place on half of tortillas fold in half and place in hot oil. 

The corn tortillas I had were fresh so they would not break. 

Usually corn tortillas that are not freshly made at the moment are hard. So wrap the amount you need in a napkin. Place in microwave and let them get a little soft. Or if you don’t use a microwave use a clean pan with nothing on. On low heat and heat until soft. Then presume by placing them in the pan.

Fry the tacos, until crispy. on one side and light golden brown. Then flip and do the same with the other side.

Place them on a plate with a napkin, to drip off any excess oil. That’s it! 

You can add any toppings. Sautéed mushrooms with onions, sautéed spinach serve with a side of rice and beans.

I added spinach and cream and hot salsa.

That was what I had in my refrigerator.

If I could go back in time and tell myself at 6 years old?

I was only 6 years old. Laying in a couch in my mothers sisters house. My aunt and her husband lived there. 

It was dark, I felt my chest being caressed. I opened one eye. Frightened, I pretended to still be sleeping. It was him Armando. My aunts husband. He was kneeling and his hand was caressing my 6 year old chest. 

I didn’t understand at that time. I was only a child. 

My only memories that I would have for the rest of my life.

 Memories, are like pictures in my brain that I can go back and replay and have a satisfying smile of that memory. But not this memory. Not being molested by your aunts husband. 

This memory brings; fear, sadness, anger, confusion, betrayal. A memory I can never forget or block from my memories.

My mother worked the weekends in a backpack factory in Lincoln Heights. She has been mother and father to me. My father left when I was 3. She left me with my aunt on Saturdays while she worked.

I always hold a grudge against my father. for not being there for me during my childhood years. Maybe, this would not, had happened to me? What if, my dad was taking care of me instead? I spoke to my father of my molestation and forgave him for leaving me. It is no ones fault. 

My whole child hood was evolved around these people. The molestation continued. We took road trips, and I remember he was always starring at me. He always found away to get close to me. I never did or said anything to him. He creeped me out. He always called my house when my mother was not home. 

I remember when we would go to vegas I would stay in the hotel room with my little cousin at the time. My mom and aunt would be downstairs playing in the casino. Next thing you know he’s come back to the room. That one time, I ran out of there and told my mom, I was bored.

I don’t know why? I shut it down for so long. I never, ever told anyone. 

Every time I had to go with my mom I was scared. Being around this man was horrible. And not telling anyone was consuming for so long.

It was during my twenties when I was realizing that something was wrong. The one memory of me being molested by my aunts husband, being harassed my whole life. And me being silent about it was killing me. 

It’s not, until I had a conversation with a family members wife. We were at a party. She started to talk about how she was molested by a priest at her church.

I was in disbelief. Of how, I just had met her. and she opened up about such a personal tragic experience in her life. A memory.

Once, I lived with my husband I had absolutely no contact with my aunt or her husband. I was at peace. I was 25. My mother always visited her and communicated.

At 25 years old, I was already a mom of two. While in the car my mother asks me if we can go to my aunts house to pick up some bread? I remember clearly. I was driving to Target. And I said, “no.” ” I never want to go to my aunts house.” ” when I was little her husband harassed me through my childhood!” I cried so much!!

It took me, about 20 years to tell my mom. And I’m so happy I did. A huge weight I carried for so long, was finally being released. She cried, and she yelled at me asking me why? Why did I not tell her?

Till this day I don’t even know why, I never spoke up. He never threatened me. I was scared? I really don’t know. 

I hate this person with a passion. And I forgive but, I don’t forget. I asked god to please forgive me for the hate I have against this man. And I leave it all in his hands.

This is one of the many reasons I, believe also triggered my depression. I, kept it in for so long. that my mind was consumed. And now it needs time to heal, recover from all the damage my brain went through.

I encourage anyone, anybody to not ever remain silent. On any aspect of your life. 

If, I could go back to my 6 year old self, I would tell myself. 

This is not okay! Get up and start yelling. No, one is to touch you inappropriately. Call for help! You will be okay. You did the right thing. You’re just a child. A baby girl. I love you, Vicki.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional doctor or counselor. I am only speaking of personal experience. 

If you know someone or yourself is suffering abuse please don’t stay quite.

Living with Depression and Anxiety 

I woke up a Sunday morning, crying for no reason. I called my cousin to let her know what I was feeling. I could not stop the sobbing. She explained to me everything will be okay. But I did not feel okay.

Later, on I was heading to the grocery store. While driving, I felt a huge knot in my chest. I could not breathe right. It felt like I was choking or having a heart attack. I immediately headed to the hospital with my kids. they laid me down on a bed and did an ekg. A test that checks for problems with the electrical activity of your heart. 

I was okay, the nurse told me. I was not having a heart attack. Vitals were okay. The doctor diagnosed me with a back ache from lifting my kids. Or doing a sudden lift. 

They discharged me, and I went home. Relieved it wasn’t a major health issue.

Couple of weeks passed. Again I woke up crying. Feeling scared, alone a tremendous amount of sadness. I questioned myself WHY? I have a beautiful family. I have a supportive husband. I get to stay home and care for my children. My husband provides for all of us.

I called my husband at work. explaining to him, what I was feeling. “Jorge, I’m crying non stop.” I feel scared. He, asked “why?” I talked to him, how he wasn’t home often, you’re always working. You don’t dedicate time to your children. I don’t have a life I don’t have friends. Basically, just bashing him with all my thoughts.

Later on that night, I had a vibration feeling on my chest. A feeling of unstableness. I told Jorge when he arrived home that night from work. Sobbing with tears and telling him I could not control it.

He drove me to a local clinic. I explained to the doctor what I was feeling. He said “you have too much stress” “you have anxiety.”

I had never heard of anxiety! Again I went home that night with a prescription. I took a pill at night and I felt normal again. The vibration on my chest was gone. The sadness was gone. 

The following weeks, I scheduled an appointment with my Obgyn. I thought maybe I was going through early menopause. Others suggested I probably had an over active thyroid. 

I had tests done and I was cleared. I also had a physical done. They checked for every thing. I had nothing, I was healthy.

I felt lost and confused. What is it then! 

There was a local clinic around my home. Exodus mental health hospital. My mother and husband accompanied me. I knew it I’m going crazy! I couldn’t believe I was in a waiting room for mental health. I thought everyone in there was going crazy just like me. It was my turn to see a psychiatrist. who told me I was depressed and had anxiety. I cried so much. Telling him how I felt. And that I could not control my emotions and feeling anxious, scared and worthless . 

Once, Again I was prescribed medication. I went home confused. Depression and anxiety? What is that? I had no clue. Yes, I’ve been sad before and nervous. But it passed by quickly. Depression and anxiety are different. 

I took the medication. It controlled my feelings. But the medication kept me awake all night. I could not sleep. All this while taking care of my two kids. I was a walking zombie. No emotions. The thing is in the beginning you take lots of medication trying to find which one works for you. Don’t give up. 

Eventually my husband hired a lady to help me out with my kids and the house work. All I did was sleep. I remember her playing with my kids and feeding them. While I drifted in my bed. I felt useless and cried how I could not respond to my children’s needs. The worse feeling. 

I started going out to distract myself. To relieve my symptoms. Thinking it was all due to stress from being home all the time and caring for two small children. Not having a social life. I was still on the medication from the free clinic. But I still felt the same. Alone, scared, worthless. Of course I feel that my lifestyle contributed to my illness from stress. Raising children is a whole 360 change.

Once, again I scheduled an appointment with my obgyn. A different one, a female. The first one I saw, was a man. I thought maybe since he’s a man he wouldn’t understand me. 

I was in denial for a long time. I could not be depressed. I’m happy with my life. 

During the appointment she said I was overweight. She said I was depressed and that I needed to see a psychiatrist. I went home crushed again. Refusing to be depressed and sad and anxious. It was something I couldn’t control. I thought I was loosing it. I was unaware of mental illness.

I made my research, to see a psychiatrist. I told myself I need more answers. I need to get to the bottom of this.

The appointment came and I took my husband. I wanted him to be present and listen to what the psychiatrist had to say. I wanted him to believe I was not making it up. Sadly we all were confused and ignorant about mental illness. The brain is an organ just like any other organ in our body. And it gets sick too. 

Dr. Debrito, you have major depression and anxiety. You need medication. You need to exercise. Neurotransmitters, also known as chemical messengers. Chemicals imbalances, have been found to have an association with mental health issues. Scientists have hypothesized that neurotransmitter imbalances within the brain can cause psychiatric conditions, and therefore, medications can be used to target these imbalances and help improve disease states.

That was the day. Finally I accepted I was sick. My brain had chemical imbalances. It was not my fault. I didn’t cause it. And I surely was not going crazy.

He prescribed me my medication. And said it would take about about three weeks for it to take effect. 

Those upcoming weeks were the worse. I began having suicidal thoughts. Which is a side effect of the antidepressants medication.

 I was hopeless and scared. I never had been in a situation where I could think of throwing my self from the second floor of a mall. For months I feared going to the shopping mall. My thoughts were consuming me. I was terrified of thoughts that I had no control over. Sudden thoughts that I was dying.

Finally, my suicidal thoughts started drifting away. I was more calm and had no sighns of sadness or anxiety. The medication took its course. It was helping me with my depression and anxiety.

After so much suffering, confusion and seeing doctors after doctors. I finally could say I was feeling like Vicki. Till this day I still take my medication. I have had some episodes of depressed occasions. And now I know what to do. My psychiatrist has helped me a lot. And I am, forever thankful to him.

I now accept the fact that I suffer from mental illness. And that I am not alone. 

According to studies about 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And is a leading cause of disability. 

I truly don’t wish this upon anyone. Mental illness is no joke. it definitely is the worse thing that has happened to me. I don’t complain because I am alive. And I fight every day to overcome this. I fight for my kids. They are the world to me and my strength. And for the mental illness that I suffer from has made me a stronger person.

Mental illness needs more awareness. I was ignorant from the beginning and in denial. Afraid of what people would say? Afraid of telling my family of my thoughts and them not believing me. Having people think I was making it up. 

All that is behind. I have accepted my illness. And I’m here to fight as long as I have to. I cried writing this because i went through so much all because I was in denial and not knowledgeable of mental illness. 

If you know someone, who suffers the same like me. Let them know that everything will be okay. We’re in this fight together. Support them and encourage them.

Thank you, for reading my painful truth. I know one of you will feel better after reading this. Spread mental illness awareness. Educate yourself. We are not alone. Seek help from professionals. Don’t let this possess you. You are worth it.

I am thankful for my husband and my mother. They have been there in my weakest and lonesome days. We truly have learned to live with it.

Disclosure: I am not a medical professional. I am only speaking about my personal experience. Please seek help if any symptoms occur. 

I am a strong woman

I am a strong woman for my children. They are the purpose of my perseverance. Although they are making me grow green hairs, and stress me out. Even if I get a knot in my throat that makes me want to yell so loud. I cry my eyes out. but I still stand tall.

I am a strong woman because, I have a husband away from home. Him working all day. Feels like I’m raising my children all alone. And I still manage to love him and respect him. Even if I feel lonely and sad. Even if I feel like taking off to another place with my kids. That he will never see us. I stand tall. 

I am a strong woman because, my mental illness does not define me. Depression and anxiety are just evil demeanors that want to destroy me. Yes, I take medication, I need it. It helps me. It does not take it away but it controls it. I can live a normal life. I fight every day. And when I feel like crap, I pray. Yes, I believe in god. I’m not religious. I believe in prayer. He listens.

I am a strong woman because I live in a world full of hate, crime, racism, bullying. a world that has billions of people that can kill with no remorse. A place where I fear my children growing up. I wish to shield them from all troubles. But as long as I can I will be a vicious mother protecting her children.

I am a strong woman because I don’t complain about my life. I expose what my life is. So that others like me can see. That there are others in the same movement. Stand tall with me. We are strong woman.